I am up early to light Stanley and put the kettle on

it is cloudy and a strong wind rushes thru the forest rattling the tin on our roof

calling out helloooo hellooooo….  a change is coming.

a chainsaw off in the bush pierces the gentle birdsong.

I look at the clock on the fridge – 7.10am – Roger is off to an early start.

after a while patches of blue push apart the grey

the sun emerges and the verandah warms enough for the odd skink  to scuttle about.

 

I took an ecological footprint quiz this morning to find out my cost to the Earth.

in Australia it is estimated that 6.6 global hectares is needed per person- that an average household emits 14 tonnes of greenhouse gases per year

and that if other countries consumed resources as we do then it would require the biocapacity of three Earths to support their lifestyle.

 

my footprint was 4.5 global hectares and 2.5 earths.

 

I am ashamed – totally and without reservation- ashamed.

there is nothing anyone can say to fix this.

My arrogance led me to falsely believe that because I chose to live in a forest in a mudbrick house that John had built out of the Earth here

and that by placing solar panels on the roof and a composting toilet down the yard that somehow I wasn’t going to be that expensive to run.

we catch the rainwater off the roof and hold it in tanks and pile all our rubbish in the bush to mulch it down.

I try to reduce packaging and plastic intake – grow a bit of food –

use the op shop and don’t fly to the Mediterranean every year.

 

it is not enough. none of it .

 

the question they ask at the end of the quiz is -how can you reduce your footprint?

good question- I haven’t got a clue.

 

I am aware that it is a matter of great urgency –

that we are living on borrowed time

that our credit is out and all systems are accelerating on a downward spiral.

shame is good – it offers redemption and I don’t mean this in a religious sense.

redemption offers me the possibility  to clear the debt to mother Earth by seeing the way ahead -knowing there is a job to do.

you and I  can weave the tattered threads –  the frayed edges – the gaping holes back together into oneness.

heart by heart  stitch by stitch we can re member the primordial connection of spirit and form

 

we can re call   re imagine and re shape the tapestry of existence.