I have no idea

still, after all this time

a grown woman

a learner of things metaphysical, herbal

a sometime yogi singer meditator,

an always  lover of forest and birdsong

and still ,I have no idea of what it is all about

or even, what it is???

we get up in the morning and go about our day

and I love that

I love making up my day.

sometimes the day has been made for you

there is little input required apart from what clothes to wear and lets face it uniforms take that one away.

it is school or work,

it is milking or ploughing,

it is mending tending and bending to the set up.

it is a given and all you have to do is comply,

sullenly  happily  crossly  passionately

it doesn’t  matter ;

the script is written and we each have our parts to play.

I have woken to a  blue  day of autumn chilliness

a last-minute crescent moon

within a  few strands of white cloud,

a cuppa in bed and blackberry jam toast.

I am making it up as I go along

testing realities.

discerning the truth of the current program.

And so I plant the leeks and the tatsoi

enjoy the presence of my father who is visiting

nearly 85, he has come over from the land of the long white cloud to hang out with us,

to  play with his great-grandchild,

to rewire our lamps and lights and radios

to act as consultant for the BMW team as they paw over Becs new bike changing oils and things.

he is great my dad

Murray,

he walks out to the gate and back every day

1km round trip thru the forest,

stops at a bench on the way and listens to his transistor radio that he carries in his shirt pocket.

He loves the trees and the birds ,all of it really,

we wish he would stay.

he is so valuable

particularly here in this environment,

has  a know how from an era when they had to be inventive and creative .

today he has hopped on the back of the bike with John and gone to Bega

Bec has wandered off to her studio,

ye old lily shack is having another makeover as an artist’s studio.

the baby has taken his parents and his auntie to Melbourne

and I have the quiet space to be in,

I like that too

and now I will go and make up the rest of my day

and I really have no idea what that will look like.