we are in the stride of autumn magnificence now
a clarity of sky
a sparkling of forest.
sitting here at my table in the window my observation deck.
flies buzzing around the door wanting entry.
John salted a batch of kimchi this morning this time with squid
oh and he was doing something with prawns
hence the flies.
every so often a zephyr ruffles the leaves of the callistemon the salvia the buddleia.
every so often there is a whip from the whip bird and some chatter from yellow robin superb blue wren restless flycatcher grey shrike thrush white throated tree creeper …….
the grape leaves are yellowing browning and dropping to the verandah piling up as curling installations.
we netted it this year first with bird mesh then fishing net and that sorted out the possums and the wallabies
but along came bush rat then to munch away- didn’t matter we ate big bunches of them anyway.
John has moved on to the fire nymph.
‘I have to put the gennie on to cut the fire bricks – will that upset you -should I do something else ?’ asks the gallant knight.
earlier I had said to him ‘ I am just going to be totally pathetic – take it on – feel drooby and then get over it.’
yesterday as one tooth was feeling better a sliver of bone from my extraction broke the surface of the gum and half my jaw feels bruised and then to top off it off my upper back went out of synch.
oh great. I am falling apart, well it won’t be the first time nor sadly the last.
as soon as I decided to get stuck into the varying range of annoying discomforting and painful symptoms I saw how funny it was -how absurd I was acting
and that in the great scheme of things how absolutely meaningless my petty disturbances were.
so from a sukky weep to a good laugh in seconds because I met it – whatever it is – because I allowed it to be.
look at the grape leaf for goodness sake is it weeping and gnashing its veins over its decay?
look at the beans shrivelled and dried on the dead vine are they wingeing and whining?
change is a a part of life
I know this I know this I know this.
and still there are times when I resist
still there are times when I want to hide from my discomfort
when I want to curl up and become numb to the suffering of self of our mother of our world.
Whitehaven plans three open pit mines in Leard State Forest ( NSW) not one but three the biggest of the biggest.
they are smashing the forest clearing thousands of hectares – an old forest and one of a few that actually still exist out west in our wide brown land.
destroying sacred sites of the Gomeroi people – sacred sites thousands of years sung danced and honoured being wiped out with a blade by a corporate body.
what happens to the energy of the earth then as we destroy all that is sacred?
well you may ask
we are living in the answer now.
and still I struggle because every cell of my being wishes to resist this future they plan for my grandchild.
platitudes and meditations will not suffice
homilies and petitions won’t cut it.
my whole being screams out at the wrongness
and I have no answers to offer
only a deep and abiding sense that we are capable of so much more.